Want to be a Better Leader? 7 Clues to our Shadow Side

June 16th, 2010 4 Comments

An important component in Attraction Marketing is connection with those you want to attract.

Often, we want to project only our best characteristics and conceal our weaknesses.  But this rarely works.  Those around us are much more conscious of our short comings than we are.  Maybe because we have spent so much time trying to hide our flaws, that over the years we have erased them from our conscious belief of who we really are.

To become the leader we want to be, we need to recognize our self in our entirety and through self-awareness begin to deal with the whole package.

But how do we do that if it is subconscious?

In Leadership from the Inside Out, Kevin Cashman notes seven clues that may indicate our hidden, shadow beliefs:

1)      If people are often bringing up issues about us that are inconsistent with how we perceive ourselves

2)     If you are feeling blocked or stymied about how to deal with a situation, it may be a shadow belief acting as a barrier

3)     If what you believe to be your strengths are starting to become counterproductive

4)     If we aren’t open to other people’s views, beliefs, input

5)     If our emotional reaction to a situation is disproportionate to the circumstances

6)     If we find ourselves notably reacting to others in a judgmental or critical way, we may be projecting our own shadow side

7)     If our body is feeling pain, discomfort, or trauma unexplainably, it may be a shadow belief causing conflict

All of these are possible indicators that we are out of alignment with our Core, or authentic self.

Though these indicators we can become aware of our subconscious, shadow beliefs and begin to accept and deal with them.

Chances are most people already have a better idea of what they are than we do. In recognizing and accepting both our strengths and weakness we acknowledge our humanness and are better able to connect with people.

The real indicator of a leader is not that they are perfect, but that they can accurately assess a situation and plan the best course of action, starting with themselves.

  • Hope Johnson

    Hey — Looks Great! I am going to bookmark this page, I really enjoyed reading and “looking inward” as I processed your blog. Anothers perspective is always helpful.

  • Priya Florence Shah

    Excellent observations, Mary! Self-sabotage, playing small and other ways we keep ourselves from expressing our best self are all symptoms of the shadow ruling our lives. I would love to read more posts on this topic from you.

    • Thanks Priya. I know this is something I still work on. The faster I can recognize it, the faster I can let me real self shine through!

  • James

    Excellent post Mary.

    Glad I saw your site via twitter.

    Very Interesting.

    Best Regards


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